Do you view yourself the way your friends do?
A while ago I was on the phone with a friend debriefing about running into an ex-love. Okay, let’s be honest, I was crying my eyes out. Thank goodness for friends who have the ability to cut through the crap. After my friend listened to me go on and on… and on about how my life was unfair and how I’d never find another like (guy I ran into), she stopped me in my tracks and said: “You’re just not ready. Nobody can see how awesome you are because you don’t know how awesome you are yet.”
She went on to say: “When I look at you, here’s what I see. I see a beautiful, strong, amazing woman who cares deeply about her kids and gives so much to others. I see a brave, kind and loving soul who is so talented, and I want to be more like you.”
I was stunned. I had thought that everyone else thought I was a bit of an idiot. I thought my friends just tolerated me. I hadn’t for a moment thought that any of them would see me like that. At that moment, the thought occurred to me that there’s no way I’d ever say these things to myself. I was too busy being hard on myself.
Yet, I think good things about friends for the most part. Afterall, why would you be friends with someone you didn’t like? Again, do you like yourself as much as your friends do?
Here’s a little exercise to help you be a better friend to yourself: If you were your best friend, how would you describe you? Write it down and plaster it on your bathroom mirror. Does this make you feel uncomfortable? If so, like me you might be a wee bit hard on yourself. Spend at least one minute a day reflecting on your new best friend and what you love about her. I guarantee it will change your perspective.
And if you have a friend who is struggling to be nice to herself, please take a moment to tell her what wonderful things you see in her. It will make her day.
Be sure to share your thoughts and feelings about this with me on Facebook.